Family and forgiveness

I had an interesting experience last week.  I was really nervous, angry, sad and even excited all at once.  We took a last minute trip to the midwest and I met my grandfather.  He and my grandmother divorced and later both remarried.  I grew up only knowing my step-grandfather.  I don't know or understand why, but my real grandfather had no contact with my family after I turned three.  None at all.  I lived in Indiana for years, living quite close to where he lives, and just met him last week.

We pulled up to the nursing home where he is temporarily staying after having hip surgery.  I said a silent prayer before we went in.  I prayed for help with my emotions.  I didn't know how I'd react, but I knew I needed all the help I could get.  My mom visited him recently, so she went right up and gave him a hug.  My mom introduced me, telling him that I'm his granddaughter.  I felt some resentment creep in when I realized he should already know who I am.  He reached out slightly, expecting a hug.  I stayed still.  I smiled and said hello, but had no desire at that moment to give him a hug.  We visited for a little while.  I introduced my little family and he seemed excited to meet everyone.  He seemed sincerely happy we were there.  He asked about the kids and where we live.  We talked about how he's feeling and when he will get to go home.  Finally it was time to go.  He stood (which didn't look too easy) to tell us bye and I stepped up to give him a hug.  He hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe and I could hear the static in his hearing aid.  He whispered to me that he loved me very much.  Then all my sweet kids stepped up and gave this frail man a hug.

Talk about an emotional roller-coaster!  I don't understand why he chose to have no contact with my family.  Thinking about all those lost years has always made me feel so incredibly sad.  Forgiveness is an amazing thing.  I've realized it can wipe away all that sadness and replace it with a sweet, unforgettable memory.