Tough Decisions

Jason and I recently had to make a tough decision and it's something I want to remember and share.

While we are certainly grateful for Jason's employment during a time when a lot of people are dealing with unemployment or underemployment, his current job comes with a price.  Anyone who knows us well will understand what I am talking about. It's something we have spent countless hours praying about.  We know that what we want to change about his job is a righteous desire.  Recently Jason was interviewed for a job that would take away this trial we've been dealing with for so long, as well as provide more income for our family and it would be a good move professionally.  We couldn't help but think we would be crazy not to take it, if it was offered to us.  After the initial face-to-face interview Jason was asked if he really wanted the job or not.  We needed to give them an honest answer.  He was in California when he told me this.  A short time later, I talked to my mom on the phone, going over the pros and cons, with the pros being a huge list, while the only con was that we'd have to move.  While talking out loud to my mom about our decision I felt we needed to go for it.  It made perfect sense in my mind. After the conversation with my mom I started on some housework that needed to get done.  While sweeping the floor I had an intense feeling come over me that taking the job was not the right decision.  WHAT?!?  Seriously?!?  I couldn't believe it and actually was in denial for a while.  I said nothing to Jason at first.  A few days later we were talking about the decision we knew we needed to make.  Let me interject here that during all of this I really wanted to be a kid again... making this decision one of the hardest I've made.  Ever.  Anyway, before telling Jason what I felt, I wanted to know what he felt.  Of course I wanted to hear him say that he knew, without a doubt, that taking the job was the right move for our family.  Then I could just decide my feeling was imaginary or maybe it stemmed from the anxiety over moving again.  However, what he said to me was exactly what had gone through my mind, it made complete sense to take the job but didn't feel right.  We couldn't figure out why, it just didn't.  I told him I felt the same way.  We didn't make the decision final even at this point.  We REALLY wanted to take the job, so we were both in denial.  Jason couldn't sleep.  I woke up to him punching the air a few times.  Finally we knew we needed to take a leap of faith and make the decision final.  He needed to let the manager know that we couldn't take the job.  We knelt down and prayed, one last time, to make sure we were doing what the Lord wanted us to do.  I was so sad as we started to pray, so badly wanting for him to take the job.  Maybe an angel will come down at the last second and tell us to take it?  Well, we knew without a doubt that we were doing the right thing in turning down the opportunity laid out in front of us.  We still don't know why, but I am so grateful for personal revelation.  I have no doubt that we are doing what is best for our family and there's no way we would have made this decision on our own.  I found this quote from Robert D. Hales.


"Revelation comes on the Lord’s timetable, which often means we must move forward in faith, even though we haven’t received all the answers we desire." 


I have faith that one day we will have the answer yes to our desire regarding Jason's employment. Now is not that time.  It's amazing how much easier a tough decision is when you know the Lord is on your side.  It makes it not only possible, but even joyful.  How could I not feel happy doing the Lord's will?  And Jason is no longer throwing punches in his sleep :)